Ooops! It's been a week since I've blogged. I'm sure there are some who may be wondering if I've given up. No, I haven't. But I will admit that I've fallen off the bandwagon a few times. I've even thought about not writing about it... forgeting about it... pretending that it never happened. But that is the very reason why I started writing about this all in the first place. Avoiding the slip ups or the "negative" is not helpful. Laying it all out there and facing it head on is what I need to do to "make the weak things become strong". Some people may think that writing about the stumbles and falls is just focusing on the negative. But it's not. By writing it all down I'm saying, yes, I had a low point, I gave in and this is what I did. I admit it. Not only to anyone who reads my blog, but most importantly, to myself. And it's OK. I'm OK. I'm not a failure, and anyone who thinks I am can SUCK IT!!! Then I pick myself up and move on. Will I stumble and fall again. Most definitely. But guess what?!?! I'm not perfect. (Shock! Gasp! "NO!") And here's another one... NEITHER ARE YOU!!! As far as I remember there's only ever been one perfect person on this earth and he lived nearly 2000 years ago.
OK, I digress. Here are a couple of successes I had over the last week. Friday night I drove down to my sister, Brenda's, apartment for dinner. Our brother, Brian, and his family met us down there. After dinner I left to go home with the intention of stopping at the grocery store. But as I drove that all too familiar feeling of desperation for food came over me. I wanted a big slice of carrot cake from Safeway or chocolate or Taco Bell. I knew that if I stopped at the grocery store that I would get the carrot cake, probably some chocolate to go along with it and anything else that struck my fancy at that moment. And then I'd be mad at myself for buying all that stuff, so I'd decide to bag it all, go through the Taco Bell drive-thru and then go home and proceed to eat most of it if not all. I really did need to get some groceries, but I knew I could not stop. So I just drove straight home. Once I got home I ate a Fiber One bar and I was good. I was so relieved and pretty freakin' proud of myself.
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So, thoughts on our imperfections...we make mistakes EVERY day, we end the day with a prayer, saying we are sorry, thanking Heavenly Father for the Atonement, and look forward to starting a new day fresh and free of mistakes. Thank goodness for that! And good for you for writing about all of this. I like how you focused on the success, too. That's IMPORTANT! Time to go to bed for me...how did I do today?
Kirsten, thank you so much for the reminder. It's so easy to forget about the Atonement and the power of prayer. I like the idea of ending the day with a review with our Heavenly Father and beginning with a fresh start the next morning. It's not a new concept, but the reminder was needed. Thank you for your encouragement and support. I know we haven't seen each other in years, but I'm so grateful for your friendship. Love ya!
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