I'd like to say a few things that have been weighing heavily on my mind this week, mostly for myself and maybe for a reader or two of my blog. I'm writing about my weight loss journey for myself. Perhaps my experiences will help someone else out there, maybe not. But my purpose is to help me through the next phase of my journey. This will be a life long pursuit. I'm not expecting to lose weight and be done with it. I'm not expecting to reach a "finish line". What I am expecting to do is to face each individual roadblock, accept it and learn how to get over it. Some roadblocks may take a considerable amount of time to deal with. Some I may come face to face with more than once. For me, most of my roadblocks are emotional. I'm sure most people don't get it. But that doesn't matter. I know what I've been through. I know what I've already overcome. I know that I am ready to begin the journey to permanent, life long changes. I know I will succeed. I have already succeeded in the past at losing weight. But it's not just about losing pounds and my past is proof of that. I reached hurdles that I wasn't ready to cross and ended up taking a few steps back. Haha... OK, maybe huge tumbles down the cliff backwards. But that's OK. It's all part of life, learning and moving forward. In writing about the difficult moments, I'm not making excuses for my mistakes or expecting sympathy. This blog is proof of that. I'm admitting that I'm not perfect, that I make mistakes. By writing about it I lay it out before me, to look at it and deal with it. Most of the time I'm surprised at what I see. It quantifies it for me and puts it into perspective. It helps me to figure out why I keep making the same mistakes over and over. And hopefully it will help so the next time I hit the same road block I will be aware of what's happening and I will be able to overcome it instead of give in.
There is so much more I wanted to write. But it's late and I'm exhausted and rather than try to hash it all out right now, I'm going to go to bed and write more at another time. And like my friend Kirsten said, tomorrow is a new day and I'll make a fresh start.
10 comments:
Sooo glad you are still blogging. I was worried and didn't know what to do. One thing I wanted to share with you was an entry on a blog I have been reading.
(side note - I have read more blogs in the past year than ever! There is not much else to read around here.)
I don't know how to put it in so that you just click on it, but it is:
compulsivewriter.com
The blog entry is "prone to wander". That has become my all time favorite song. Let me know what you think of the blog entry, supposing that you can find it.
The post is dated 29 Sept 2009
Thank you for your comments! You are amazing. I'm so grateful you are writing about all of this, because though our struggles may be different, emotions and the way we need to work through challenges can be very much the same. I've always looked up to you. I have been looking through a lot of photos lately for Jonathan's and my upcoming anniversary and have loved remembering that though we are apart now, you have played an important role in my life: pre-mission, MTC, you even came to my wedding! I wish I could be as good a friend as you...happy new day tomorrow!
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