My Glimpse into Motherhood

This year my brother and my sister-in-law celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary. Congrats to Brian and Tammy!!! I thought this was an important milestone that they should be able to celebrate sans children. So I offered my babysitting services so that he could whisk his lovely wife off to a romantic getaway... whatever. It's my brother. That's about as far as I'm willing to go on the road of romantic thoughts.


At the time when I offered to take the kids for a few days, I assumed it would be a weekend and that my sister, Brenda, would come up and we'd do it together. That was the plan... initially. But my brother decided to take time off work and go in the middle of the week during the summer when the kids didn't have school. Fine for me. I was recently laid off and have all the time in the world. But my sister? She had already planned this awesome trip to Australia (camping in the outback and scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef) and couldn't take any more time off especially only a few days before the scheduled trip. So I got to babysit all 4 kids by myself, ages 14 months to 8 years. No problem, right? I'm the oldest of 5 kids, babysat for years during Junior High and High School and already absolutely love spending time with my niece and nephews. Boy was I in for a rude awakening.

Don't get me wrong. I love them so much and had a great time. But my eyes were definitely opened to a minute portion of what it must be like to be a mom. Benjamin is an early riser. Therefore, I was an early riser. I had gotten quite used to sleeping in since I lost my job, so getting up early again was a little tiring. Then came breakfast... and the complaints. Inevitably there was one who didn't like what had been made. The first lunch I became a short order cook and made everyone a separate meal. Learned my lesson. No wonder my mom said when we were kids that if we didn't like what was served, then we went hungry.

After breakfast (and every meal for that matter) came washing the littlest ones, getting everyone dressed, diapers changed, etc. Then I had to clean up breakfast and do the dishes to keep the kitchen in some working order. By that time the morning was half over and I was still in my pajamas. I can't remember if I showered that morning. It is all kind of a blur. I think I definitely got dressed, though. But not every day. I think the 2nd day I stayed in my PJ's all day long. It was just easier.

Then there was the matter of entertainment. Their attention wouldn't last too long on one thing and they always seemed to need my help with one thing or another. I had to take advantage of the short moments when their attention was absorbed by an activity. Then lunch time would roll around and the whole meal cycle would begin again. Post meal was more play time and they couldn't do it without me apparently. Ahhh... but nap time was my sweet haven. It was quiet time for all of them, regardless if they slept or not. They just had to lay in bed for a while. They usually fell asleep, but occasionally one or more would remain awake. That was when I had to cut my quiet time short because they could only remain quiet in bed for so long. But heaven have mercy if the one of the younger ones didn't take a nap. By 6:30/7:00 the holy terror emerged and the rest of the night I was merely in survival mode until bed time.

It always seemed to take me a long time to get them ready for bed. Four kids and me and of course none of them "want" to go to bed. By the time I got them all dressed, diapers changed, stories read and ushered upstairs and finally into a bed, I was exhausted. But the house was a disaster zone, so instead of sitting and watching TV, which is what I usually do at night to unwind, I was picking up toys, doing dishes and getting the house in some order ready for disaster to strike the next day.

At the end of the first night I had this thought, "And I really want this (to be a mom)?" I'm 36, single and no kids and I have always wanted to be a mother. But this night I actually questioned that desire. I kept thinking that I got nothing done during the day. I had a list of things I needed to do, but there was no time or energy for that matter. I was exhausted by the end of the day. And I finally got it. Occasionally I will talk to siblings or friends that are married with children and listen to them as they share with me their frustrations of being a mom. I would sometime hear how they sometimes felt that they were not contributing anything to the world nor were they doing anything worth while in their lives. I would tell them about my dull, boring working life with the not-so-interesting business trips and hear them say how exciting my life was. I didn't think so. Meanwhile I thought their lives were full of meaning and purpose by simply being mothers, raising Heavenly Father's children. But after this short experience watching my niece and nephews for 3 days, I finally understood. So to all you mothers out there, I can not express the amount of respect I have for you and all that you do each day. And for my own mother, I love you and am so eternally grateful for you.