Monday, December 8, 2008

It Boggles the Mind!!!

Beware. I know I haven't posted in a while and I apologize that this post is going to be a venting of my frustrations. But there is a part of the human existence that truly escapes my understanding. It boggles my mind. Marriage. Now, don't get me wrong. I understand what it is and why, but I am at a complete lost as how to obtain it. I was on Facebook checking out profiles of all these people I grew up with and most of them are married. I had to log out because my frustration had reached a boiling point. Which brings me here. How do people get married? How do they find people who want to marry them? I'm having trouble just finding someone to ask me on a date. I just don't get it. And it isn't for a lack of trying. Trust me!!! I've put myself out there. I've asked guys out. In fact, I've asked more guys than have ever asked me out. I am a pro at embarrassing myself in this regard and at rejection. Well, maybe I can't say a pro at rejection, because I don't handle it well at all. But I sure have had my share of it, more than I care to. I attended singles wards for 17 years. OH MY WORD THAT'S A LONG TIME!!! Singles wards have worked for other people, but not me. I've even resorted to online dating. Yes, it is tragic. But I have done it and have met a few people. Online dating is a bit strange. But it does seem easier to get to know someone online than in person. It goes faster, that's for sure. In fact, my longest "relationships" have been online relationships. Oh, that is sad. But they've all turned out to be colossal jerks. One guy ended up not wanting to take it any further than an online thing. WHAT?!?! And another guy, he... well, he had issues. Let's leave it at that. So here I am, 35 and single. I'm in a family ward and I've found that I have more in common with the married men than I do with the women, which sucks because I can't really hang out with the men. I don't think their wives would appreciate that. But they talk about work and life and sports and politics and the economy and... whatever. The wives talk about their husbands and their kids and since I have neither, I really can't relate. So do I go back to a singles ward? The frustrating thing about that option is that I am just constantly reminded that there are a ton of single men, great single men, who do not want more than a casual friendship. Casual friendships are nice, but come on already!!! What's so terribly wrong with me? OK, so maybe I don't have a Cindy Crawford figure, but I'm pretty damn great! I'm smart, talented, I have a wacky sense of humor, I've been told I'm pretty (but to say it myself would seem rather arrogant! :-) ), I'm a good cook, very organized, capable of doing almost anything I try (I can't skateboard - I fell flat on my butt the one time I tried), I'm well rounded (physically as well as mentally! hehehe), I'm good at sports... man this list is long!!! See what I mean? Pretty damn great. Perfect? No, but who is? So why can't I find someone who wants to marry me? I'd be a great wife and mother. Well, there it is. I'm so done being alone. It sucks. But I haven't figured out how to get from point A to point B. I still want it to happen. Just because I am 35 doesn't mean I'm all washed up and out of hope. I had an aunt that said to me when I was 25 that I shouldn't worry because there are many women who never get married!!! I WAS ONLY 25!!! WOW!!! She had already given up hope on me then. Well, I'd better end this depressing tirade. If anyone has any words of wisdom, I'm open for suggestions.

4 comments:

Kents said...

I wanted you to know I'm here for you. :-) I liked this post. I'm glad you said all you did. I know I'm one of those married girls, but I've still asked myself, "how does one get from single to married and why is it so easy for some and not for others"? My favorite aunt is 62 and still searching. NEVER give UP! People used to always ask her, "why aren't you married"? She was dumbfounded. Why do people ask such stupid questions? She wanted to tell them to jump off a cliff...but really do you just tell people, "no one asked me...?" I love you and think you're pretty great at EVERYTHING. You deserve a SUPERMAN and I'm hopeful you'll find him. Great job on the effort.

Megan said...

ok i usually reserve this for my sisters blogs but amen sister. i totally know exactly what you mean. i feel like i can relate tons more to the guys in my ward than i can to their wives. and what is wrong with us? nothing, but why are we the only ones who seem to notice that. then there is the question of do you change your dating pool but then i think why don't i deserve what they have? i guess this is a question we won't ever be able to answer but stay happy!

Janet Lee said...

Kirsten, you are awesome! Thanks for your comments. I remember your Aunt and I always remember her when I start to get down about being single. I just remember her flying you all (and the rest of your family) out for her birthday. How cool is that!? I want to be that cool Aunt for my nieces and nephews. And I hope you know I would never begrudge you your marriage. Jonathan is a sweetheart and your children are beautiful. You are very blessed!

Megan, you're right. There is nothing wrong with us. We deserve the best and maybe it's just not out there. But stay happy! I think that's going to be my new motto.

Connie said...

Hey Janet. My parents were 32 and 48 when they got married - they met square dancing. And I do believe that all of my mom's siblings, including your mom, were married before she was. And I think you ARE pretty! I've always thought so! Hang in there!