Beware. I know I haven't posted in a while and I apologize that this post is going to be a venting of my frustrations. But there is a part of the human
existence that truly escapes my understanding. It boggles my mind. Marriage. Now, don't get me wrong. I understand what it is and why, but I am at a complete lost as how to obtain it. I was on
Facebook checking out profiles of all these people I grew up with and most of them are married. I had to log out because my frustration had reached a boiling point. Which brings me here. How do people get married? How do they find people who want to marry them? I'm having trouble just finding someone to ask me on a date. I just don't get it. And it isn't for a lack of trying. Trust me!!! I've put myself out there. I've asked guys out. In fact, I've asked more guys than have ever asked me out. I am a pro at
embarrassing myself in this regard and at rejection. Well, maybe I can't say a pro at rejection, because I don't handle it well at all. But I sure have had my share of it, more than I care to. I attended singles wards for 17 years. OH MY WORD THAT'S A LONG TIME!!! Singles wards have worked for other people, but not me. I've even resorted to online dating. Yes, it is tragic. But I have done it and have met a few people. Online dating is a bit strange. But it does seem easier to get to know someone online than in person. It goes faster, that's for sure. In fact, my longest "relationships" have been online relationships. Oh, that is sad. But they've all turned out to be
colossal jerks. One guy ended up not wanting to take it any further than an online thing. WHAT?!?! And another guy, he... well, he had issues. Let's leave it at that. So here I am, 35 and single. I'm in a family ward and I've found that I have more in common with the married men than I do with the women, which sucks because I can't really hang out with the men. I don't think their wives would appreciate that. But they talk about work and life and sports and politics and the
economy and... whatever. The wives talk about their husbands and their kids and since I have neither, I really can't relate. So do I go back to a singles ward? The frustrating thing about that option is that I am just constantly reminded that there are a ton of single men, great single men, who do not want more than a casual friendship. Casual friendships are nice, but come on already!!! What's so terribly wrong with me? OK, so maybe I don't have a Cindy Crawford figure, but I'm pretty damn great! I'm smart, talented, I have a wacky sense of humor, I've been told I'm pretty (but to say it myself would seem rather
arrogant! :-) ), I'm a good cook, very organized, capable of doing almost anything I try (I can't skateboard - I fell flat on my butt the one time I tried), I'm well rounded (physically as well as mentally!
hehehe), I'm good at sports... man this list is long!!! See what I mean? Pretty damn great. Perfect? No, but who is? So why can't I find someone who wants to marry me? I'd be a great wife and mother. Well, there it is. I'm so done being alone. It sucks. But I haven't figured out how to get from point A to point B. I still want it to happen. Just because I am 35 doesn't mean I'm all washed up and out of hope. I had an aunt that said to me when I was 25 that I shouldn't worry because there are many women who never get married!!! I WAS ONLY 25!!! WOW!!! She had already given up hope on me then. Well, I'd better end this depressing
tirade. If anyone has any words of wisdom, I'm open for suggestions.